Поскольку мудрые мысли тяжелы и мучительны, и мукА мудрости не попадает на страницы моего ЖЖ, то приходится перебиваться, чем бог послал и друг прислал. А присылает он английские юморы исключительно. Я прикрываю свою лень двуязычием, вдруг действительно, кто-то почерпнет словечко-другое от "носителя". Однако это вот переводить не буду - не хватает квалификации и глаза мои затуманены слезами умиления. Это поэма, в которой австралийский мужчина воспевает свою женщину - такую, какая она есть. Уберу под кат для нежелающих учить английский или не любящих своих женщин такими, какие они есть
Australian Love Poem
Of course I love ya darlin
You're a bloody top-notch bird
And when I say you're gorgeous
I mean every single word
So ya bum is on the big side
I don't mind a bit of flab
It means that when I'm ready
There's somethin' there to grab
So your belly isn't flat no more
I tell ya, I don't care
So long as when I cuddle ya
I can get my arms round there
No Sheila who is your age
Has nice round perky breasts
They just gave in to gravity
But I know ya did ya best
I'm tellin' ya the truth now
I never tell ya lies
I think it’s very sexy
That you've got dimples on ya thighs
I swear on me nanna's grave now
The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get
No matter what u look like
I'll always love ya dear
Now shut up while the cricket’s on
And fetch another beer! |
|
А это переведу
If The Shoe Fits
Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There's a guy on the dance floor living it large - break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy?
25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Жена поворачивается к мужу и говорит: "Видишь этого парня? 25 лет назад он сделал мне предложение, а я отказала"
Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!
Муж сказал: " Выглядит, как будто он до сей поры празднует!!!"
Если ботинок не жмет
Муж повел жену на дискотеку
Там был мужик на танцевальной площадке: крутится, как юла, показывает брейк-данс, лунную походку, обратные сальто, всякие стили.
Жена поворачивается к мужу и говорит: "Видишь этого парня? 25 лет назад он сделал мне предложение, а я отказала"
Муж сказал: " Выглядит, как будто он до сей поры празднует!!!"
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but here http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/peo_div_rat-people-divorce-rate - US is the first
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A girl who works for my doctor took off work. Two weeks later she gave birth to a baby. Before she took off work, she told me that she and her boyfriend would get married after the baby was born. I could not do that. I would be afraid the boyfriend would decide he did not want to be a father after all. This is quite common.
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Our government has done so much to hurt senior citizens with Obama as president. And there is a lot more to come. He has cut the medical benefits of elderly Americans on Medicare but raised the price we pay for Medicare each month.
The "Obamacare" you have heard about is something that most people do not want. It is not good for America. Bottom line: Americans pay so that mexicans who come here illegally have insurance, plus their families.
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I truly do not know the names of all of the countries where US solders are now. I know some are in Africa. I do not know why the American president always thinks that we need to be the policeman for the world :/
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As for Obamacare, like I said, it will never benefit me. I have private Federal Insurance. But my rates increased so that money could go toward Obamacare (which I do not need or want). This is for people with no insurance. So I am paying for them too.
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The moment that we met
I thought you was as good as
I was ever gonna get
Вот супер! Очень понравилось стихотворение!
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