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Помещу тут пока без перевода. Кто не поймет шутку, пишите в коментах. Присланы одним старпером другому, перехвачены мной, молодкой 63 годков. Одно только напишу для понимания: IRS - это налоговая инспекция в Америке.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.
A penny saved is a government oversight.
The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .
He who hesitates is probably right.
Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL."
If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame.
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs."
Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft.
Today, it's called golf
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.
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Особо я отметил самую первую и насчет вранья/хвастовства.
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а вообще - прэлэстно!
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1. Birds of a feather flock together - это поговорка-аналог русской рыбак рыбака видит издалека. То есть птички в стайку собираются - а завершается "чтобы накакать на машину".
2. накопленная копейка - недосмотр государства.
3. чем вы старше, тем труднее похудеть, потому что тело и его жир становятся лучшими друзьями
4. тот, кто колеблется, тот, вероятнее всего, прав
5. Заметили ли вы, что в римских цифрах 40 - это ХL (намек на размер после достижения этого возраста)
6. вы достигнете такого возраста, что перестанете о нем врать, а начнете им хвастатья.
7. чем старше вы становитесь, тем меньше становится в мире вещей, достойных того, чтобы стоять за ними в очереди
8. давным давно люди проклинали и лупили палками землю. Тогда это называлось колдование. Теперь это называется гольф
9. эту пропустим, это для мужиков, которые откручивают спидометры. Нас, девочек, не касается.
10. когда вы чувствуете неудовлетворение и хотели бы вернуть юность, вспомните об алгебре (тут я тоже не согласна, я любила ее)
11. когда вы становитесь старыми, все на свете или пересыхает, или протекает
12. быть юными - это так красиво, зато быть старыми - это так комфортабельно
13 сначала вы забываете имена, потом забываете лица. Потом вы забываете застегнуть ширинку. Но самое плохое наступает, когда вы забываете ее расстегнуть
вроде бы пропустила одну. не обессудьте :)
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так что мои благодарности!!!!
а №11-вообще супер!(из жалоб стареньких-актуально донельзя).
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Рыбак рыбака видит издалека и дерьмо на вашем автомобиле.
:))
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...for the house ;)